Noe Valley
A quiet base for San Francisco vacation or Silicon Valley meetings.
When you think about a vacation in San Francisco you do not think of Noe Valley, but it is probably the most important SF neighborhood you’ve never heard of. Before the rise of Silicon Valley, the most desirable places to live in SF had a view of the bay or were situated among other like-minded mansions well north of downtown. But Noe Valley has become increasingly important for several reasons.
Noe Valley is the nicest neighborhood closest to Rt. 280 — the golden path winding down to Silicon Valley and Google, Apple, Facebook, Genentech and others. It is the most southern of the desirable neighborhoods still in The City proper. And since the traffic in SF is absolutely horrendous on a normal day, all the big tech companies have created their own fleet of comfortable, wi-fi equipped double decker buses. They’re nice; you can get a lot of work done dealing with different time zones and you save hundreds of dollars a month on gas and expenses. And where is the last stop to pick up passengers before the 40 miles of uninterrupted freeway going south? Noe Valley.
To be fair, the buses may be perceived as elitist, but they take thousands of cars off the road and are driven by professionals who are not doing their nails or shaving (at the same time!) while tailgating at 35 mph in bumper to bumper traffic.
They only burst into flames occasionally. So yes, I rode them for many years unscathed.
The second reason Noe Valley is important is the housing stock which, although there are many well maintained Victorians and Edwardians, also consists of Marina style and tiny cottages that have significant “deferred maintenance”. In other words, you can be looking at a $3 million dollar, modernized Tech Palace and right next to it is a pit bull barking from an overgrown weed garden with towels over the windows. So what do entrepreneurial real estate developers do? Buy out the pit bull for $1 mil, keep the facade, add a top floor, a chef’s kitchen, fireplace on every floor and add a charging station for Teslas. And charge $4 mil. So the concept of urban renewal has changed a bit since the 1960’s.
And the third reason is that it is an awesome place to live! Walk to hundreds of restaurants and bars, enjoy a sunnier and warmer microclimate than much of the surrounding neighborhoods. odge the weaponized baby strollers (pushed by nannies, of course, since parents are texting from the Tech Bus), and it is relatively safe from crime. It features the Sister Act church (AKA St. Paul’s Catholic Church), a varied corridor of small shops on 24th St., a street car service and a fair amount of quirk. Blessed by views of Twin Peaks and Sutro Tower, you can watch the fog not so much come on little cat feet, but inundate the city below with an aerial tsunami during the months everybody else thinks of as “summer”.
Hiking the steep urban hills and the many hidden, outdoor stairways is a challenge you can’t often find in cities that are not San Francisco. On a good day I can do over 70 floors according to the Apple Watch. Wear the perpetual light fleece and get out for the views of downtown SF, Bernal Heights Park and, if you can make it all the way to Twin Peaks through Glen Park Canyon, the glamorous car commercial view of The City and beyond.
So you may not consider Noe Valley the best place to vacation, unless you are looking for an AirBnB (maybe with parking for the rental car) that is quiet and private while you explore the rest of the city and the local restaurants on foot. The Muni J-Church street car goes down Church St. and alongside Dolores Park for a leisurely 45 minutes into Union Square. Great for people watching if you have the time and on a foggy night you might see one of the many historical trains The City usually saves for the Embarcadero tourists - empty and ghostly on their way back to the barn.
I recommend Flywheel rather than Uber or Lyft. I know that is heresy in the hometown of these disruptors, but I still like the neighborhood cabbie who knows the secret short cuts. Our preferred method is a quick stroll to BART at 24th St. and Mission for approximately 8 minutes of pure adrenaline to your destination, but it is not a great choice for returning late at night. And of course, Noe Valley is the perfect launch pad for those important Silicon Valley meetings that will certainly make you rich someday.
The funky multi-doorbells of Bernal Heights, the Mission and Noe Valley are the OCD nightmares of someone else. I think they’re cool.